Geography Party triumph in Foreign Election!

international | politics / elections | news report Saturday May 07, 2005 09:12 by %-)

The geography party has triumphed in the foreign elections.

Together with the trilateral Dub Reggae party a repartitioning of Ulster seems set now - east of the Bann and south of the Neagh.

as seen from SPACE!

Conor Murphy has been elected in Newry Armagh with 20,965 votes, 41% of the poll.

Pat Doherty has been re-elected in West Tyrone with 16, 910 votes, 38.9% of the poll.

Michelle Gildernew has been re-elected in Fermanagh South Tyrone with a substantially increased majority. She received 18,638 votes, 38% of the poll.

Gerry Adams has been re-elected MP for West Belfast, increasing the Sinn Féin vote by 4%. Mr Adams received over 70% of the vote with turnout at 65% in West Belfast.

Martin Mc Guinness has been re-elected MP for mid-Ulster with 47.6% of a 74% turnout and 21641votes.

The geography party have now taken for the disenfranchised peoples of Ireland 4 geographical features and one mindset constituency. The geography party mindful of the majority abstentionist position of the Irish people in these elections will not attend Westminster. It is hoped that by this gesture, Westminster will melt away and cease to have any meaning to the majority of Irish men and womens' lives. For all your previous westminster business matters you are now to go along to the Mansion house on Dublin's Dawson Street where they'll be promptly dealt with.

In addition to the geography party, the trilateral dub reggae party have taken Foyle
Their man - Mark Durkan won with 46.3% of a 66.3% turnout and 21119 votes, and one mindset seat south belfast won by Alasdair McDonnell on 32.3% of a 61.8% turnout and 10339 votes.

The loss of a complete aluvial system such as the Foyle river, which boasts one of Ireland's three fjords will be seen as a loss to the Geography party.

http://www.sinnfein.ie/news/

This now means Irish Men and Irish Women may fly tricolours as far north as Lough Neagh, and at any point West of the Bann. To which end the Dub Reggae party have launched a campaign to ban all "doomsday cult" and serbo-croat flags:-

http://www.sdlp.ie/news.shtm

Meanwhile the Taoiseach (Irish Lehendakari) has called for renewed mathematics to implement the Good Friday Agreement in full, and divvy up the christ's clothing and nail him to that cross.
http://www.rte.ie/news/2005/0507/northpolitics.html

It's a great day.