Gay Marraiges

Monday March 17, 2003 17:13

by the Pragmatist

Gay people should be allowed marry

When most of this think of our future wedding we often envision a romantic ideal. If you're the bride you envision a beautiful church, laid out with flowers, all your family and friends there and marrying the perfect guy. For the Groom, getting married will be remembered for the stag night the night before and trying not to let on in front of your mates that it does actually mean something to you.
Marriage is a very strong and important union of two souls as they make this journey through this life. You are saying in front of the eyes of God that you intend to have this person as your one and only for the rest of your life. It is a very special and holy bond, an unspoken understanding between two people, which can only be understood by those in it.
What a load of bollocks. The institution of Marriage is a farce. We have been duped by the hormonal nonsense so evident in Alley McBeal and in Friends when Rachael broke up with Ross. Marriage is fictional. It means nothing. It has no special bond, relevance and the power, which made the Universe (God), cannot be harnessed in a church smelling of incense, and if it could it wouldn't bother by looking at you and your spouse and one hundred and fifty of your friends getting pissed.
Marriage was started as a contract of property. That's why we wear rings on our third fingers. Initially only women did that, men owned their women, who were seen only as above slaves. Ever notice that cows and bulls have rings in their noses; it's exactly the same. If women ever ran away from their husbands (owners) they could be brought back. Of course wedding rings have been made so you can take them off nowadays.
As women became equal in society they brought their (considerably more emotional) views to bear and the process of marriage became more positive; about people rather than property.
Many marriages are braking down in Ireland and in the other countries of the world. For children, no matter what age, this can be a very painful process as one of the corner stones of your life, which you always considered would be there, crumbles away.
Before monogamy became fashionable men usually had a number of wives. Many Muslims have four to this day, although it's not as simple as that.
In our rhetoric about the "union of two souls" we have forgot one thing: everybody is an individual. From a young age Mammy and Daddy were a unit, the thought they could brake up was unfathomable. It is perhaps quite selfish that we don't allow for individuality in couples. When some people hear that a married couple they know have broken up, they give out that they have broken their vows and talk about them disrespectfully. No thought is given to the fact that maybe they'll be better off without each other, that perhaps it wasn't meant to be, or even worse maybe people aren't cut out to have only one long term relationship in their lives.
We are left with marriage as it is: a statement that two people are in love and that for as long as they can they intend to stay together. They day one of them falls out of love with the other that should be taken as a divorce. Why in God's name does someone have to go through the Dáil to get a divorce? What do the 160 odd T.D's have to do with some person's relationship?
We now have the point of this essay. There is no logical reason why homosexuals shouldn't be able to have their unions/ marriages recognised by the state. They go through the same feelings that heterosexuals go through. What you will find in most cases is that people who don't think gay people should be allowed marry, are just saying so because they don't like homosexuality in general.
Most people who are secure in their sexuality and who have sex, are in favour of giving equal rights to gay people on the issue. It's usually ignorant people who have only made it with their left hand who object.
It 's about time that we took a new approach to marriage in this country, stopped thinking of ourselves and realised instead that the only people who should have a say are those in the relationship themselves.