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is there really a santa?![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau). There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at least one good child in each. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get onto the next house. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second - 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that flying reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them -Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch). A mass of nearly 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reaches the fifth house on his trip. Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,000 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim considering all the high calorie snacks he must have consumed over the years) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now. MERRY CHISTMAS!!! |
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Jump To Comment: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10no really, tell this to your kids immediately!
well thats completely pointless, everyone knows that santa is magic anyway........
Charlie McCreevy travels a hundred times that speed and Micheal Martin can't be seen for dust.
they now use Boeing technology to stealth fly the world bringing cheer and holidays.
guidance systems parts are made in Airmotive Naas Road Ireland.
santa´s little helpers.
yo mango!
good to see some people who use indymedia have a festive/humourous outlook!
Dear Santa,
Could I please have the following as I've been a good anti-capitalist all year.
1. A years subscription to Socialist Worker,
2. World Peace,
3. A surprise.
this wreckless behaviour could lead to a disater if he crashlands Finland will be obliterated.
and....
that we haven't gone away.
oh no.
of the multi-dimensional world
we will not
all have to either believe in Santa
or struggle with Satan.
a world in which australians won't be tempted to buy a gazebo,
http://www.thisplace.com.au/priceguide/gazebos.htm
and in which they'll have more dragon dumplings.
And the gazebo will sort of happen.
it needs loads of tranquil buzzing you see.
This just shows Indymedia as a hive for jumped-up little Red demagogues, who masquerade as people of new ideas and progress. In reality, you are mere pawns in an ongoing war on Christian culture.
Somebody was attacked on this site recently for saying that left-wing politics, by its very materialist and non-spiritual nature, always leads to bureaucracy. Grinch's number-crunching proves them right. He completely ignores the spiritual message behind Christmas and Santa Claus, and its place in Christian culture.
If you idiots think you can downsize Christmas for some stupid politically-correct reasons, you have it in bucketfuls. We don't want a monoculture, and if it goes as far as civil war with you little shites, then so be it!