Don't Panic!

by banker Wed Oct 19, 2005 11:01

than from yuppie/bird flu.

SHOCK, HORROR!

In China a country with millions of people only 60 people have died from Bird flu, which says it all about the latest imaginary threat to yuppie households.

Double the amount of people died from the MRSA bug caught in hospitals. Are birds or penny pinching beaurocrats/dog eat dog capitalists the real threat to human health?.

What's behind the latest pandemic panic? What is the purpose of pandemic panics?

Pandemic panics about terrorist threats, bird flu, bird flu with terrrorist threats, provide a yuppies/professionals with no life, a bit of excitement in their boring empty mundane 9-5 lives.

If we look at capitalist society, espeacially the lives of professionals in non manual work, we can see that esentially what happens is they step from their front doors into their cars, go to work, return home, step out of their cars, and sit in front of the telly.

The threat of Bird flu, provides them with a bit of dramatic relief, like Dynasty and Dallas use to do in the olden days.

It also provides yuppies a chance to voice their disassociated collective concern about their own precious health and welfare, which is of utmost importance to them, whilst at the same time gives them a bit of a thrill.

What purpose does the 'Threat of Bird flu' serve the authorities?, first of all it raises societies cortisol levels, people are most stressed, when faced with a situation which is beyond their control, or when they are in a helpless situation, so it pays to distract people with the 'threat of Bird flu' and start panic over a situation they have no control over.

It is better to have people worrying about demon birds which they can do nothing about, instead of things which directly effect our lives, such as nuclear waste on our shores, and cut throat capitalist penny pinching which has led to the MRSA bug.

by baking soda & rat poison Fri Oct 14, 2005 22:36

OK this is what you're going to get from your telly news soon.

Bertie is pissed off with the Birds.
He is anti-bird. There will be no non-intervention thing this time.

Turkey according to its state media saw Turkish medical staff on Friday test nine people from the western town of Turgutlu for possible bird flu after 40 pigeons died.

Pigeons get everywhere, you don't need to go to trafalgar square to see them. Turkish pigeons come in many sizes and colours, you can see a whole page of photos of Turkish pigeons here
http://www.turkishtumblers.com/Takla1.htm

Local health official Osman Ozturk has said that the 9 people tested are ok, but are still under observation.

the EU will send experts to Turkey & Bulgaria from Monday to Thursday next week, and three other experts will visit Romania.

The experts will be equiped with icons, holy water, phrasebooks, big nets and sharpened stakes.

H5N1 will not cross the carpathians.

12 people have died of bird flu in Thailand, Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra wants to be helpful -
"If we would form a networking of stock, and we can borrow each other's if things are happening some place, that might be a better way out instead of every country trying to have their own stockpile," Thaksin said on a visit to Finland. He is proposing that Thailand be the Bird Flu stock pile centre.

"H5N1 is mostly an animal disease today. To stop it from spreading to humans, we have to stop it in birds."

In Romania, Serbia and Germany, media reported surgeries full of people seeking vaccinations against normal flu or queuing to buy the anti-viral drug Tamiflu™

To calm the public, the Turkish and French prime ministers have made a point of eating chicken in front of TV cameras. This is because Chicken is BIG MON€Y.

"Every necessary precaution has been taken from the very first moment both in the place where the illness was first detected and against the possibility that it could spread,"

Turkish PM Erdogan told reporters in Ankara

There are 308 types of Pigeon, a species of near passerine birds in the order Columbiformes.

They are nor your friend.
They are going to kill you.
Don't Panic

by wren boy Fri Oct 14, 2005 21:58

various pro-bird groups around Europe have protested the tone of the "No Panic!" announcement that Avian Bird Flu which has killed 20 human beings amongst the 2billion human beings who live in Asia in the last 50 years has come here to Europe
to kill us all
very soon.

You might worry are you pro-Bird or anti-Bird?

If you are pro-Bird, now is the moment to go to your local Garda office, or if living in the 6 counties PSNI office.
Tell the desk fuzzie that you can distinguish sick birds. Ask the desk fuzzie can he / she be sure if a bird has a chill, flu, or is just tired.

If you are anti-Bird,
your day has come.

Organise with your friends and neighbours using a traditional name as "a cover". Remember Sean Ryder of the happy mondays proved scientifically that feeding pigeons a combination of rat poison and baking soda is lethal before he was recognised as being truly valuable to contemporary culture.

Dont Panic!

Chief Kicking Bird the man responsible for leading the last injun raid on Texas in 1870.

by bludgeon Fri Oct 14, 2005 14:41

RTE reports :- "The head of the Irish National Disease Surveillance Centre, Dr Darina O'Flanagan, has said precautionary plans have been drawn up to cope with an outbreak of avian influenza here. She said there was also a stockpile of anti-viral drugs in place.
Dr O'Flanagan said that while there were concerns about the spread of the virus, it was important not to scare the public unnecessarily."
http://www.rte.ie/news/2005/1013/birdflu.html
[You're all going to die]
From the Disease Surveillance Centre we read :- "Avian influenza affects domestic and wild avian species such as chickens, turkeys, ducks, geese, shorebirds, gulls and others. Clinical symptoms can range from mild (low pathogenic avian influenza) to severe (highly pathogenic avian influenza (HPAI)). HPAI can spread rapidly among chickens and turkeys and causes very high levels of morbidity and mortality. In 1997, avian influenza A (H5N1) was responsible for 18 cases of severe respiratory disease and 6 deaths in humans in Hong Kong. Prior to this outbreak, H5N1 was not known to infect humans. It is now recognised that HPAI outbreaks pose a significant threat to human health, with H5N1 infections in humans causing severe illness and having a high case fatality rate" [you're all going to die horribly very soon]

The IHPS has put together a few pdf files to help you through the plague.
http://www.ndsc.ie/A-Z/Respiratory/AvianInfluenza/Guidance/
[read them before you die]

Remember Don't Panic!

Birds are slow stupid creatures and incapable of any great movement, You should consider investing in a cat. They don't like cats. Also scarecrows are good. Make a lot of noise.
Form a vigilante group and bludgeon the wild birds of our national parks now before its too late.

there will be updates.