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Yippee! Its "our way of life" Its Orange day!!!!!!!!!!!![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() "& at last the dreary spires emerge from the mist" Today we mark our cultural diversity and tolerance and geniune all round superiority in all things religious. Calvinists wearing orange sashes have as expected taken to the streets yet again to commemorate their important victories for their liberties in the distant past somewhat bouyed this year by the popular reception of their ideology in the Ukraine where top analysts have attrivuted them with the victorious victory of Viktor.
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Jump To Comment: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31Many people may be wondering about Ireland's Calvinists, what to they believe?
who are they? what do they do? are the rumours true? Here is a short guide to the important issues of Ireland's second largest religious group.
Q- what do Calvinists believe?
A- Well, many calvinists believe different things, but some basic tenets are common to all wearers of the sash from west africa to canada. These can be boiled down to a belief in big drums, a trusting a umbrella,
a certain animosity to Joseph Ratzinger (and indeed his predeccesor) whose followers are called "papists".
Q- So Calvinists are part of the liberal pro-gay marriage lobby then?
A- No. not a bit of it, Calvinists are anti same sex union and and anti-abortion, anti-divorce, anti-contraception, anti-transexuals, and very anti girl on girl action.
Q- Where do Calvinists live?
A everywhere, thanks to the celtig tiger and the extent of the Irish diasporia, calvinists are now found on every continent of the planet. There are however clear concentrations of Calvinists in the north of ireland which they call "wee ulster" and in the netherlands, in the orange province of south africa and the swiss city of Geneva.
Q- is that why the swiss city of Geneva wouldn't fly its flag at half mast or take part on any official basis in the Swiss national mourning for the last pope?
A- yes. One of Calvinisms leading figures is the "wee ulster" minister of religion Ian Paisley who leads the "doomsday cult" and as an MEP he reminded the last pope during his only address to the European Parliament that he was the antichrist by waving a poster at him and shouting "you are an antichrist".
Q- Have any Calvinists been to space?
A- yes, a good number of Calvinists have been to space, they are very well represented in the "people sent to space" lists, and indeed a lapsed Calvinist got sit in the module which telly viewers saw on the moon in the 1960s.
Q-have any kathurlicks been to space?
A -its not kathurlick day. stay on topic.
Q- What fo Calvinists do?
A- Pretty much the same as most people, one prominent calvinist Condoleeza Rice moved from playing Brahms of an evening to advising Chevron Oil and having an oil tanker named after her to being a member George Bush's cabinet and is currently the US foreign affairs missus.
Q- Are the rumours true?
A- Yes. they are, if we examine the banners today as they are paraded through wherever it is that the Irish diasporia have brought them, we will see an unhealthy and hermetic interest in numerology, symbols and war.
Q- Do Calvinists eat the same food as us?
A- generally yes, though the Calvinist diet differs according to climate. There are no food bans or extra requirements.
Q- Are Calvinists nice to women?
A- on the basis of statistics it would appear that areas of the world with large calvinist populations also record high number of incidents of violent gender related crime, though Calvinists would say that this is a result of the Calvinist trust in law and order and thus reflects a higher percentage of women who are victims of violent gender related crime reporting the acts.
Q- Are Calvinists violent?
A- Now, this is absolutely typical of the sort of ignorant and biased approach to a misunderstood minority, calvinists are not violent, but they are pretty good in a fight.
Q- My neighbour's son has started dating a Calvinist, and its the first time a Calvinist has been seen in our local pub, is there any way of breaking the ice, any sort of joke one could tell which shows a "jolly decent attempt at intercultural relations".
A- Well, Calvinists though not renowned for their sense of humour, do seem to enjoy jokes about kathurlicks. Be careful though!
There might be kathurlicks in your pub who will take offence. Probably better to use some other minority as the butt of your humour, or else just stick to the usual smutt.
But don't mention girl on girl action.
Q- Do Calvinists kick with the other foot?
A- there are as of yet no true scientific studies on Calvinist footballing but suffice to say that all goals scored by Glasgow rangers a calvinist football club in the 1990s were done so by the right foot.
Q- Do Calvinists make better musicians?
A No, that's stereotyping, calvinists are no better at dancing, have no better sense of rhythm or any such thing, it might be that at times Calvinists have a cultural peculiarity of seeming relaxed and letting thier hair down.
Q- Do Calvinists feel at home in Ireland, are they welcome?
A- Well its probably too early to say, they still are naturally going through some teething problems.
I hope this clears up some of the misconceptions you might have had
about Calvinists and help you reach out to them, and make them aware that
"their way of life" can be "our way of life".
Most Orange Men are not Calvanists. They are Presbyterian or Free-Presbyterian (Paisley's personality cult - although Paisley himself is not an Orange Man. He is a memeber of the Order of the Black Preceptory). The majority of Orange Men (and women, who are kept to the sidelines, cheering them on) are working class, ultra-conservative and xenophobic.
Imagine a host of Alf Garnets, minus the funny side. The Orange Order, like the Freemasons etc., consider themselves to be a bulwark against the slave-mind of Catholicism and are thus akin to people like the Ku Klux Klan, who share the same ethnic roots (Ulster-Scots).
People in the ROI think they are funny. The rich ones even patronise Orangism as a valid cultural display that ought to be cherished (more out of atavistic colonialism than informed wisdom). For the northern Irish (often mis-labelled 'nationalist') the Orange Order is utterly evil, opressive and terrifying.
For more on the Orange Order check out:
http://www.struggle.ws/wsm/orangeorder.html
But Paisley is actually a member of the Independent Orange Order and not the Black perceptory . Just as he needs to have his own church , his own political party and for a time his own paramilitary goups ( Third Force , Ulster Resistance) , he needs his own band of sash wearing bigots too .
And this fine upstanding man will be my Prime Minister very shortly . Oh the benefits of British rule !
we dont allways have to agree with those in power. The Stormont asembly may be the only institution we have to challenge the likes of Paisley. Why dont you stand for the next stormont elections Barry then put your retoric in action.
Was it not John Calvin who started Presbyterianism, or, to be more precise, John Knox, who brought Calvinist ideas to Scotland?
all presbytarian churches find their roots in the Geneva religious career of john Calvin whose follower John Knox brought the beliefs to Scotland where the word "presbytarian" was applied to the dissenting protestant faith to distinguish it from other english and french forms.
There are no serious theological differences between calvinism in all its current forms globally and the presbytarian churches be they the church of scotland or the free kirks.-
They preach the primacy of written scripture, the abscence of an ordained priesthood and bishops,
they follow the nicean creed and have adopted common positions with their pre-Calvin roots on the questions of divinty the only exception being the unitarian church which relected the notion of the trinity at a latter point in the nineteenth century.
Apart from their belief in predestination and their rejection of the transubstantiation and the assumption and virginity of marian they are close in most regards theologically to the western body of churches, agreeing with them on the essence of the divine, and the relation between Christ Spirit and Father.
Their sucess from Scotland to Ulster may be compared to other groups of the same period who quickly lost support and had adhered to "heretical" beliefs which had been contested throughout the early church (before and after Constantine).
They accept as western churches the fathers, -Augustine, Aquinas and Jerome. The also pivotally accepted the "christian right to bear arms" which marked them out against other candidates for "global protestantism" at that period - the society of friends (quakers) and the cult now known as "amish".
but for a variety of reasons are found by most including their own church goers to have more in common with evangelical christian fundementalist who emerged in the 20th century USA (as a response to modern baptism), as typefied by the preacher Billy Graham whom Paisley alinged with briefly upon his _one_ theological shift during his career as a preacher and religious writer, and have in popular practise if not codified statements "by the elders of the larger presbytarian or calvinist churches or kirks" accepted apocylaptic readings of the last book of scripture "revelations" sometimes called "endtime beliefs and rapture".
Yet in essence of the cor beliefs of the cult [sic] they continue in line closer ironically to either anglican or roman catholicism.
But such end-time and more importantly the beliefs on "rapture" heresy which pushes notions of "pre-destination" and "elect" to scriptural prophecy - are not taught in any presbytarian school or divinity course leading to a "preachering certificate".
I know a lot more about theology
and hocus pocus
and the psalter
and the books
than yiz. bless ye anyways.
+
just to prove i'm not sectarian in any way.
kathurlicks have been to space!!!!!!!!!!!
and so too have arabs and jews
and even some non-believers.
The only person to space who invoked god
whilst there, was in fact a technically atheist
cosmonaut of the former Soviet Union.
There wont be any real democracy in this country untill the Irish people are free to determine their own future without foreign interference . Instead of normal democratic politics in the north we have a regular sectarian head count . More often than not people vote for whoever has most chane of keeping the other side from takin a seat .
Im not a politician so Ive absolutely no intention of standing for election in Britians puppet assembly .
As regards the points on Calvinism its probably worth pointing out that Presbyerians were originally banned from membership of the Orange order and were persecuted by them almost as much as Catholics . The Orange Orders membership was originally exclusively Anglican . Hence the reason why they aligned themselves with their Catholic neighbours and were pivotal in the creation of Irish republicanism and seperatist ideology .
Only after a bloody reign of terrorism ( rapes , mass murders , pitch cappings etc) by redcoats , yeomanry and Orange militia were presbyterians slowly converted to Orangism and loyalty to the crown . The British government gave extremely generous financial rewards to presbyterian ministers every year as long as they persuaded their flock to give allegiance to the British crown . ( remember anyone who refused to do so immediately made themselves and their family a target for yeomanry/orange killers)
Very few among the worlds Calvinist faith have anything to do with the Orange order and the KKK . Most protestants are very nice law abiding people who dont hate their neighbours .
I've made a few wee mistakes in that comment btw Unitarianism found its roots in a Lutheran belief system which is sometimes called "crypto-calvinist". Look them all up on wikipedia.
Anyways, I think it is really important when you see all these men with the umbrellas and so go walking the street, to chuckle to yourself that no-one ever got initiated to the secrets of the universe by putting on silly clothes, gloves and avoiding the wife for two to three hours a week. But it is a secret of the universe that that type have felt the need to do so for such a long time.
It is curious that the same forces which globally led to the resilience of the whole calvinist presbytarian bunch including the orange lodge skulldugeeries crew now seem set to bring about thier eventual demise.
You might see that in your lifetime. But if you're a kathurlick you'll be dismayed to see your bunch dealued as well.
Anyway, I was using the whole "dreary spires" thing as a "metaphor". All fundamentalist followers to the letter of scriptural texts who fetishise the right to bear arms and treat on holy war have something in common.
the wikipedia orange order article is under bias debate-
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orange_Order
Some of you may like to go have a look.
Was the mosque ever built in David Trimble's constituency? I remember the Orange Order objected.
They refer to gay people only as 'sodomites'. In fact, their obsession with penetrative boy on boy action is fascinating. They never mention us dykes at all; get quite confused when someone asks whether they have any problem with lesbians...the Bible does not say that woman shall not lie with woman - only condemns sodomy, not cunnilingus, or many of hundreds of other pleasureable sexual acts associated with girl on girl action. In fact, don't think the Bible has any problem with fellatio either, so maybe it's an early safe sex tract??
BTW, there are as many liberal á la carte Calvinists or ordinary (as opposed to Free) Presbyterians who support gay rights etc as there are liberal á la carte Kathulicks, just as the Kathulicks have their rabid anti-sex brigade also. cf aforesaid Ratzinger
Did it ever get built? You must be joking! Not a snowball's chance in hell of it ever getting planning permission - there are real fears that the Imman's call to prayers would frighten the cows in nearby fields, thereby reducing their milk yield. So, it's not racism, just legitimate fears. That's alright then.
But line dancing is the work of the devil apparently
http://news.bbc.co.uk/vote2001/hi/english/northern_ireland/newsid_1337000/1337473.stm
Indeed The Rev David McIlveen and his hilariously named Save Ulster from Sodomy organisation ( not a joke I swear) have been quite prolific in campaigning against anything remotely sinful in their eyes . Even a stray ladys boobie on the stage of Belfasts opera House will have them out protesting . They must believe that by engaging in a display of lustfulness it will only make men want to engage in anal shenanigans with ladies . Which is why the Save Ulster from Sodomy people are outraged by such things , including line dancing .
Line Dancing = potential buggery . Thats Official DUP policy .
These people will of course be in charge of Stormont once the last wee deals have been done . I once was fortunate enough as a child to live in a council area which was DUP controlled . They employed someone to go around council housing estates every Saturday evening and chain up the childrens swings and roundabouts . Apparently it is very sinful in DUP eyes for children to play on swings on Sundays .
Just as the Taliban are removed from power in Afghanistan it seems that in this corner of western Europe other religious fundamentalists with long and proven links to murderous terrorism will get their own state courtesy of British and US support . And we dont even have any oil in the wee six .
This free presbyterian DUP and orange order member however may be a practising sodomite .
http://www.dup.org.uk/PaulBerry.asp
he has since been suspended from the DUP.
the kathurlicks on radical fundamentalist extremist protestant calvinist crypto masonic evangelical day in the north of ireland are often perceived to be led by
? anyone good on geography?
apparantly the man stood in dignified calm as the water cannon hit. oh well he had it coming.
the radical fundamentalist extremist protestant calvinist crypto masonic evangelical orangemen women and bairns are led by
Ian Paisley.
leader of the doomsday cult. Paisley is responsible for last night.
His leadership,
His way of Life,
His Britishness.
SHAME!
Take one look at the weather yesterday and theres all the proof you need that God is an orangeman, had an awesome day, nursing a serious hangover just now though, ouch!!
looks after his own .
I believe the phrase " sup ye not Lucifers buttermilk " is used frequently within the free presbyterian church , as well as admonitions against line dancing and anal skullduggery .
Lets hope its just the rules on alcohol rooster doesnt abide by .
For our southern compatriots, here's a wee peek at the kind of rum business that props up the general badness that accompanies each 12th.http://www.sundaylife.co.uk/news/story.jsp?story=649806
and a very interesting link .
Our protestant evangelical friend Mr Peeples became famous as the pastor who blessed many of the pipe bombs which were lobbed at catholic homes on a weekly basis for years despite loyalists supposedly being on ceasefire . An associate of Pastor Peeples the late Billy Wright also moonlighted as a Bible bashing preacher when not murdering defenceless catholics and importing drugs . A few nights after Billy Wright was shot dead righteous and wrathful loyalists from Pastor Peeples lower Shankill flock walked into a bar in the New Lodge and sprayed the Christmas drinkers with automatic gunfire .
Although claimed by the Red Hand Defenders , a fictitious cover name for basically any loyalist , Johnny Adairs unit was believed to be behind the murderous attack while the mainstream UDA and LVF went on to kill more innocents on an almost daily basis .
24 stone Pastor Peeples is reputed to have read tracts from the bible to some of the killers before they set out on their unholy murder sprees . Interestingly he was widely believed to be fornicating with Adairs wife Gina at the time too , although whether there was any sodomy involved is anyones guess . According to the account of Johnny and Ginas lifestyle in the book "Mad Dog" its highly likely sodomy was considered quite tame by that particular lady . However as a holy man maybe the good Pastor was trying to convert her away from sin , licentiousness and the Devils buttermilk .
The DUP also organised a rally that year not far from the tiny village of Crumlin . Free Presbyterian preachers , among other things denounced the UVF for calling a ceasefire . This is hardly surprising saying that the Rev William McCrea MP ( and renowned Gospel singer) had earlier shared a platform with fellow preacher Billy Wright denouncing the UVFs call for Wright to leave the 6 counties . A few hours after the rally young Catholic student Ciaron Heffron was murdered at random as he walked through the village of Crumlin . He was killed by gunmen who just earlier had been listening to the holy men preaching from the Bible .
The loyalist Orange Volunteers were founded around the same time in the neighbouring village of Stoneyford . Stoneyford Orange Hall then became notorious after the details of hundreds of nationalists and republican suspects were uncovered . This information unsurprisingly was gleaned from crown forces intelligence files .
Hardly surprising then that Pastor Peeples was in the close company of the good Deacon Somerville . Along with his brother Wesley , Harris Boyle and Billy McCaughey (all serving members of both the crown forces and the free presbyterian sect) they were part of the British Army / RUC /UVF outfit that massacred dozens of innocent Catholics with the active assistance of senior British intelligence operative Captain Robert Niaraic. Niaraic is widely believed to have been present on the night of the Miami showband massacre . The Dublin Monaghan bombings were also on the list of Mr Somervilles and his associates many crimes .
RUC sergeant Billy McCaughey , a near neighbour of Ballymenas favourite son Ian Paisley was one of the first converts to Paisleys church in the mid 60s . He also was one of the first members of the Loyalist paramilitary group Paisley founded at the same time , the Ulster Protestant Volunteers . This group gained notoriety for brutally attacking student marchers in the Burntollet ambush which Paisley vowed he would halt by whatever means necessary .
Paisleys UPV also set off a number of explosive devices just pror to the start of the officially recognised northern Troubles at sites such as the silent valley reservoir in co Down . This was an attempt to blame republicans and in turn create a state and Orange backlash against the Catholic community . One member of Paisleys UPV and his Kilkeel free presbyterian flock even managed to electrocute himself to death trying to blow up an electricty substation in the 26 cos in Letterkenny .
Obviously the God followed by many of our Orange brethren is not a God of love , compassion or mercy but one of wrath and vengeance . An example of this can be found in the highly publicised announcement by the late Rev Roy Bradford MP , another Free Presbyerian preacher , Orangeman and DUP member . When the late Cardinal Tomas OFiach compared the conditions of the blanketmen in Long Kesh ( who were on a prolonged dirty protest ) to the " sewers of Calcutta" , Reverend Bradford went on TV and announced he was praying to God for a long hot summer which would hopefully result in outbreaks of cholera and typhoid emanating from the prisoners excrement encrusted cells .
Another DUP and Free presbyterian preacher and Orangeman , the late councillor George Seawright put forward a motion during his time in Belfast city council . He urged the council to invest in an incinerator in which catholics , priests and Travellers could be disposed of . Both men were shot dead by republicans not long after making their hate filled outbursts , ironically making Catholics wonder whether God is fond of a bit of the old wrath and vengeance after all .
There is no notion of ecumenism in any form among the faithful Orange Taliban . Free Presbyterians , just like Orangemen , do not regard Roman Catholics as members of the christian faith you see . They are unfortunately damned for all eternity in their righteous Orange opinion . Paisleys right hand man in the Martyrs Memorial HQ , the redoubtable Rev David McIlveen of Save Ulster from Sodomy fame recently embarked on a campaign to convert Roman Catholic priests to " christianity" by sending them CDs and gospel tracks . His plan involves contacting every Roman Catholic priest in the world urging them to repent .
This is a welcome change from Billy McCaugheys infamous kidnapping of a priest which he threatened to kill before being arrested by his crown forces colleagues . His protector and guiding hand Captain Nairac having met a sticky end in South Armagh some weeks previously meant McCaughey was unfortunately all at sea and quickly apprehended . McCaughey now confines himself to organising things like the blockade of the Catholic church in Ballymenas Harryville and the erection of Orange arches .
We can only assume from Orange , DUP and Free Presbyerian comments and literature then thatb a Roman Catholic Sinn Fein voter who engages in line dancing and a bit of bum fun with his wife of an occasion is highly likely to go up in a puff of smoke quicker than an eleventh night bonfire .
That is what we in the North have to put up with . These people are now the largest political party in the 6 counties . They will be in charge of our regional puppet government very soon . What a victory for the GFA and continuing British rule in Ireland . Sectarianism is now surely in its death throes .
''The Dublin Monaghan bombings were also on the list of Mr Somervilles and his associates many crimes''
-I was under the impression that no-one has been convicted of this bombing, not like you to post lies on this site barry!!!
''That is what we in the North have to put up with . These people are now the largest political party in the 6 counties . They will be in charge of our regional puppet government very soon . What a victory for the GFA and continuing British rule in Ireland . Sectarianism is now surely in its death throes''
-lets not forget that the DUP have in shinner speak a ''mandate'' and if it was'nt for shinner intransigence on the policing and decommissioning issues then unionist voters would not have been driven into the DUPs embrace.
Simply because the Somerville brothers were multiple murderers , bombers and members of the of the same Portadown/Mid Ulster brigade of the UVF which was responsible for the Dublin Monaghan bombing doesnt mean that they had anything to do with it .
Despite the fact they were planting a bomb on board the Dublin based Miami Showbands van which was intended to detonate south of the border . Just because they were trying to kill Dublin people with a bomb at around the same period as the Dublin Monaghan bombings doesnt necessarily mean that they had anything to with it . The same UVF unit which they were members of carried out Dublin Monaghan but its entirely possible they may have been given the day off .
And given the fact that Wesley Somerville and his British Army colleague Harris Boyle tragically lost their lives while wearing her majestys armys uniform ( although planting a bomb intended to massacre civilians as well ) its entirely wrong of me to suggest such wrongdoing . After all the reason why neither of the Somervilles were arrested was the Garda investigation exonerated them . Well if thered actually been a Garda investigation it would have . And anyway the co-operation given to the garda by the British authorities was absolutely top notch as well so because theres no conviction in this case its wrong to point the finger at anyone . Bertie Ahern has a nerve taking HMG to the European court to force them to co operate . Almosts as big a nerve as I had , telling such nasty lies about the Somervilles .
Liam Buí nó Séamas an Chaca?
Nach cuma.
Cogadh an Dá Ghall a thugadh ar a gclaismirt.
Is tabhachtaí daoine is clann na hÉireann an lá inniu agus amach anseo.
was that Ulster-scots?
If it was Ulster scots anyone who can understand English or just a Ballymena accent could "translate" it quite easily .
My Irish is far from fluent but it basically means that there is no difference for Irish people between King William and King James ( seamus an chaca = James the shite as gaelic Ireland referred to him) Both were foreign monarchs fighting for the English throne . An English war and not our cause at all .
A Bharry,
Chuir tú Béarla ceart ar mo chaint.
One of the Behans wrote a wee ditty entitled THE SEA AROUND US which included the lines:
"Two foreign old monarchs in battle did join,
Each wanting each head on the back of a coin
If the Irish had sense they drown both in the Boyne
And partition throw into the ocean !"
Sales of clothing in the usually popular shade have plummeted in Israel this summer :-
"Will the adoption of the color orange by opponents of disengagement do long-term damage? According to advertising executive Yoram Dembinsky, creative director of the Tamir Cohen advertising agency: "Most people don't like to be identified with a political statement, and prefer the neutral zone. This color has taken on clear connotations, and it has attracted so much attention that there are companies that would pay millions of dollars for such exposure. In advertising terms, the orange campaign is a great success, absolute identification, and that's why people are avoiding it. I don't think it's a `burned-out color' for the long term," adds Dembinsky, "unless the opponents of the disengagement decide that this is only the beginning, and that they will use it to oppose any other government decision from now on that continues the same policy. Then it will be `borrowed' for a longer period of time."
whole article-
http://www.haaretz.co.il/hasen/spages/601150.html
Nár cheannaigh an Úcráin éadach buí an domhain le dul i mbun reabhlóide?
Weird that . As duine points out in the Ukraine orange is the colour of rebellion . In Israel and Ireland its the colour favoured by nasty violence prone settlers who believe they have a God given right to walk all over their neighbours and be nasty religious bigots .
How strange the world is viewed through different sets of orange tinted glasses .
The colour green has become synomous with bigotry and intolerance too.
Agus rud eile, rith sé liom gur fallaingí buí a chaitheann furmhór manach Bhudaíocha i dtíortha áirid.
http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/story.jsp?story=654046
love ireland.
love Dublin. love leinster. love connaught. love ulster. love munster. love the diasporia.
Welcome your migrants they are Irish too.
& do not let fascists on either side of our historical nation speak for you,
ruck for you, confront each other for you, tempt others to bomb you yet again.
Grow up Now! We have never placed the ne plus ultra on the march of Irish nationhood and never will
You will march as a nation when you arise and speak for yourselves.
FUCK OFF BIGOTS AND BOMBERS OF BOTH SIDES.