Prime Minister of Her Majesty's Govurnmunt of Engurland, Cymru, Scoaturlund and wee Ulster.

by - Thu May 05, 2005 11:31

-

mark durkan - advantages - in the trilateral commission. good with aliens.

david trimble - advantages - good with an umbrella in a riot.

gerry adams - advantages - good on geography, speaks american

michael mcdowell - advantages - none, but he's put in the legwork.

by - Thu May 05, 2005 11:39

sovreign and crown of the United Kollective of Cymru, Scoaturlund, Engurland, Lahndin, Gibraltar, Falklands, ultra-right Oz, well off Canada, New Zealand, Rockall, mother in law all legal and proper like to Camila, supreme governer of the Cypriot sovreign british territories of Akrotiri and Dhekelia, anglican numero uno, scourge of Kathurliks, president of the Royal ballet & opera and jockey club, Elizabeth Windsor

will have to meet whomever wins and sign their bits of paper for the next four years.

Hip Hip Hoorah!

must have great patience.

by - Thu May 05, 2005 11:58

An "improvised explosive device" made from a "novelty-type grenade" has exploded in front of the building that houses the British consulate in New York City, police said.
the small bomb, placed in a concrete flower box next to the building, exploded at 3:35 a.m. EDT (0735 GMT), police said.
http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/05/05/uk.consulate/index.html

BAGHDAD, Iraq -- A series of deadly attacks targeting Iraqi security forces has killed at least 23 people, including Iraqi army recruits, police and civilians, Iraqi Emergency Police told CNN.

A suicide car bomber detonated a vehicle in front of an army recruitment center at Al-Muthana Airfield in west-central Baghdad at about 7:30 a.m. Thursday.

Police said the attack killed at least 13 Iraq soldiers and wounded 20 other people, including seven soldiers.

The airfield has been the site of several attacks.

In western Baghdad, a second suicide car bomber detonated in front of the house of a high-ranking Ministry of the Interior official.

Major General Salman Hikmat Moussa escaped unharmed, but an Iraqi policeman was killed and six others were wounded in the attack.

In eastern Baghdad, ambushes on Iraqi police vehicles killed nine officers -- six in the Al-Sayidiya district and three others about a mile (1.6 km) away near Al-Sayidiya Square.

http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/meast/05/05/iraq.main/index.html

Whether they (our neighbours) Vote for the Dead, the Living, the Glamorous, the Faithful, the Devout, the Smiling, the Spinners of Lies & Deceit, the Murderers, they won't change a thing.

by - Thu May 05, 2005 12:24

with temperatures forecast between 12C -16C (54 - 61F)and a little rain in the north and west of Wales predicted, *but mostly dry in the south-east*, top quality pundits are predicting less apathy than the 2003 welsh assembly election when only 38.2% of voters bothered.

by .:. phi phi pho phum Thu May 05, 2005 12:47

As very keen and sharp readers, geographers, tourists and €uropeans most Irish people know that the UK is our closest neighbour, and that the other closest neighbour is France. Accordingly the French daily Libération has today compiled an english language special on the British election.

This experiment will carry on till tomorrow, with the tippy toppy translators and people with axes to grind, thinking up headlines in english for the wonderful french daily to put on thier website.
In addition a team of highly qualified frenchie journalists left the republic last night and have succesfully infitrated the capital of Engurland, Lahndin, and will be talking to Lahndiners as they go about their daily toil of grubbing and filling out forms in triplicate.

They will also be grabing francophone readers attentions with headlines such as -
Sex beast lives in Number 10.
The dark side of Blair.
Tony Blair ready for Act 3.

For those of you interested in Blair's role as antichrist, you might like to ponder that today is St Ireneo's day, the man who formulated the theory of an individual incarnate rather than group identity antichrist. Under Ireneo's criteria, Lenin and Hitler come in just a few points behind Blair but Tony is still behind Napoleon.
Should Cherie put on her mantilla and invite Ratzinger to Lahndin to crown her husband emperor, and he grabs the crown, reach for the knives.

http://www.liberation.fr/page.php?Rubrique=ELECTIONSUK

$$$
Meanwhile, the yankee dixies have done their best to help Mr Blair win, by capturing Al Q's "numero tres" in Pakistan, and deciding that Lyndie England, (not to be confused with Engurland) the proud mother of a small baby has been mistrialed for torturing Iraqi's in Abu Ghraib, and "only following orders".
(we call this a psy-op in axe grinding land)

by - Thu May 05, 2005 13:00

But where's the ink?

where's the ink?

that's better.

by ribbid ribbid ribbid Thu May 05, 2005 13:11

Gerry Adams (standing for the geography party) has never rebelled against his party whip, has never spoken in a westminster debate, has asked no written questions, has attended 0% of votes and yet has got a westminster politician rating of-
# 645th out of 659 MPs.
# Asked 0 written questions — 542nd out of 659 MPs.
# votes in parliament — 651st out of 658 MPs.

Which sort of begs the question so it does, who are the 7 more useless MPs in the Westminster parliament.

Mr Adams resigned his seat on April 11th but is hoping to be re-elected to further his exemplorary record in the period 2003-2004 he received £109,315 in total renumeration for his work putting him at 518th out of 658 democratically elected representatives to the British legislature.

by ribbid ribbid moo moo woof woof Thu May 05, 2005 13:17

Thursday day
Scoaturlund, wee Ulster will have patchy rain which will spread south over the border into the Free State, clearing southern parts by tea-time.
Sunny spells / scattered showers following.
Engurland, Cymru: patchy light rain, mainly in west. Some bright spells in East /far South.

Thursday night
Scoaturlund: showers dying back to west and north coasts. Clear spells, windy in north / east. Elsewhere, largely dry after a damp start in South Engurland. Drizzly in SW later.

Last Updated: 5:15 5/5/2005

apathy swing barometer

by ribbid ribbid moo moo woof woof Thu May 05, 2005 13:39

only 31% on average of new voters expressed any intention of voting. Blair turned up with two of his children as first time voters with Cherie this morning in Sedgewick, the two others Kathyrn and Leo were probably smoking spliffs in Lanhdin.
Keen readers will remember Leo has previous with plod, having been taken into Charing X Road station on a drunk and disorderly charge a few year ago just after a historic protest which his daddy went radge over.
41% of registered voters did not bother in 2001. As previously referred to in the comments above, Wales or Cymru is the most apathetic/abstentionist nation without a state in the only country not to have a written constitution in the EU.

by ribbid ribbid ribbid ribbid ribbid ribbid ribbid Thu May 05, 2005 15:35

if you like poll info, this is cool, you can see all the voter intention ratings and playing around with your mouse you can see what happened to bring the 3 main parties up and down.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/shared/vote2005/polltracker/html/polltracker.stm
If you live in Wexford, and still are undecided as to whether or not just to enjoy the sunshine or vote here's a ten point questionaire you can do, and you'll see the little pin go to the party you support-
http://www.clic2mail.com/FT/election_holder.cfm
If you like swinging, try this -(This page will take about 30 seconds to download over a 56k connection)
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/shared/vote2005/swingometer/html/labcon.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/vote_2005/basics/default.stm

There are other parties too!
These include the Scottish nationals & Plaid cymru (they sit together), SSP, Green party, Scottish Greens, UKIP, Alliance, Respect, BNP and Veritas.

Aunty Beeb has done a profile of each coz thats her job.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/vote_2005/basics/default.stm

She's also calling for "dignified silence" which means she doesnt want her minions telling you who to vote for or who has been voted for.
quite right. Hip Hip Hoorah!

by - Thu May 05, 2005 15:36

the UK operates a "first past the post" system and not proportional representation like every other state in the EU. This is to make damn well sure the government stays in power.

by - Thu May 05, 2005 15:48

Neither Welsh nor British soldiers stationed in Iraq will be able to vote today, or not vote, depending on how welsh they are.-
http://www.sluggerotoole.com/archives/2005/05/uk_servicemen_i.php

It wasn't Leo Blair who got done for drunk and disorderly it was Euan. He got probation and it isn't on his permenant record now, 'cept with me, and it oughtn't be held against him, but if he were american he'd be barred from voting, but he isn't american, he's Tony & Cherie Blair's son and they all live in a meritocracy so its ok, his criminal past won't effect his future or prospects.

by plod Thu May 05, 2005 15:50

we'll see Leo done when he starts drinking.

by redjade Thu May 05, 2005 16:40

but i do love maps - oooooooh do i!!

http://del.icio.us/redjade/maps

but this electoral Guardian predictor fancy map really gets me going...

http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-files/Politics/documents/2005/05/05/Swingometer_5may2.pdf

I could look at it forever and still have no clue what it means, but it is interetsing.

found it here
http://dailykos.com/storyonly/2005/5/5/101527/8417

found on dailykos.com

by knowing i wasn't there... Thu May 05, 2005 22:24

i wasn't here

http://politics.guardian.co.uk/election/story/0,15803,1477244,00.html

i wasn't there

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/vote_2005/england/4518189.stm

damn elusive... where was i?

"i've had a think and resized the issue"

i wasn't there...

where am i going?

by I wasn't there ...---... Thu May 05, 2005 22:31

nope, I didn't get the chance today to vote in secret, anonymously, without all the finger tip inking, hoping to be opinion polled, no siree!!
I wasn't there, and didn't go the portakabin or school to tick the boxes, or vote for an abstentionist party who don't bother going either, i wasn't there, i wasn't participating,
neither was I really really abstentionist, I wasn't there.
I don't live in Bethlehem.
I don't live in Auschwitz.
I don't live in Notting fucking Hill-
I don't work in Babalon.
I don't work for God.
I don't work for Tony / Bill / George / Joe Ratzi / Vlad / Silvio / Ariel ... --- ...

where is that damned elusive ....

by iosaf Fri May 06, 2005 09:39

For in truth what is done is done,
and what has not been mended is not for mending,
the die is cast, and mould not yet broken,
afterthoughts are all I can give, (I'm not going to fill up the gallery again!)

George Galloway has won Bethnal Green in Lahndin with a majority of 823 votes for the "Respect party" which any leftie affiliated to the sort of leftie with a megaphone in East Lahndin will know all about and no doubt explain to you in the pub.

This is significant. He is the only independent MP elected in Britan. The electoral system is seriously flawed, and as I joked yesterday ensures that the government never loses. By that I meant the entrenched civil service who act as that little bit of wood between spindle and puppet sometimes called a divider. (I won't get technical on the puppetry with you now, we'll save it for a sunday papers). Well done Mr Galloway! olé! Respect to you.

The Conservatives have won with a majority of 1738 votes Clydedale/Tweeddale/Dumfrieshire , "wha?" you might say. This is also significant. This means the Tory party returns with a seat in Scoaturlund. They previously had not a one, and this Westminster sitting will have reduced Scoaturlish seats as Scoaturland moves to rely more on its own Hollyrood parliament. Taken with the romp to the shires in Engurlund, this shows that the Tory party are consolidating around the issues Howard waved at them. They are indeed the country side alliancers and xenophobes and less the rump of english nationalists they seemed 4 or indeed 8 years ago. They have also taken the strongholds of racism in greater London adding a few seats on the periphery. There really have been no surprises.

I could joke- They always hold the central city and chelsea & MI5 where as labour always hold vauxhall and lambeth & MI6 and the Liberals always get the Bermondsey with the Tate art gallery and shakespeare's globe. Well now they're joined by Galloway and Brick lane, bagels, saris and peace.

It is interesting to see where the voters are-
the Liberal Democrats are found in Scotland, Wales the West country. Labour in the cities and the rest of England at least is mostly blue on the map. The Liberals have taken 11 seats from Labour, olé Mr Kennedy and Co. but what is interesting is where and why- I wonder are the Libdems to become the "all british" alternative party to the nationalists?

Anyway. the votes will be counted soon enough for Northern Ireland / Wee Ulster / the six counties / enfranchised for this sort of thing occupied Eire
and the newswire will fill up with tippy toppy local comment and analysis, coz I can't forget-
"I wasn't there".
;-)



He's the man in the first photo above.

George Galloway has won Bethnal Green with 823 votes, and favours index finger over thumb.

told you so.

by iosaf ipsiphi Wed May 18, 2005 13:19

This parliament will last longer than the regime of Bush2. & so in many ways, it is the first UK parliament to lookforward to doing business beyond the shadows of Washington's direction. This was always going to be a factor for many issues both domestic and foreign which are of interest to Irish and Europeans-
So it was that the day the Queen got to enter the House of commons and give her speech which a bunch of Etonians write, because it's their government really, George Galloway (in three photos above) went to wave his index finger at the American Senate. And as "Blair's regime" prepares to take the reins of the EU presidency from Luxembourg and host the G8 summit in Scotland this summer, the backroom spindoctors and analysts return to their dossiers of near philosophical non-identified objects and subjects, and rustle around for something interesting to present to the incredibly diverse communities this regime will seek to govern wisely whilst at the same time preserving as ever
- the status quo.

This is the program of government presented by the 3rd New Labour regime- by which it hopes to leave Iraq, deal with the EU, square its centenial circles of influence with both Washington and Dublin and of course "stay in charge" and bring many of its passionate opponents in the liberal democratic tradition "on-side" by absorbtion.

Your choice- always was-
¿are you onside?
http://politics.guardian.co.uk/queensspeech2005/story/0,16013,1485740,00.html

Respect! Hoods! Jedis! Sith! Yoda in Barca! Reclaim the Streets! Status Quo! ID cards! 100,000 dead. Geopolitical balance gone! Kylie has tit cancer! Piano Man is French busker!

by cynical guffawing near ejaculating with joy - iosaf Thu May 10, 2007 13:28

As any 911 truth head knows - it's been years since the Blair "big Brother" clan lived in number 10.
Being blessed with a brood which generally in a meritocratic and post-Thatcherite society only very rich people can afford - they found the small flat above 10 Downing Street too cramped & thus have in between cooking up wicked spin; helping in the slaughter of 600,000 billion trillion Iraqis and unborn babies, historically poor Africans, doing youtube vids, bible bashing Paisley and cajoling the hard men of the IRA, buying dodgey houses, selling seats in the house of lords, telling drones how to vote, changing Leo's nappies and keeping an eye on drunken cracked up Ewan - the Blairs actually lived in number 11 Downing Street.

ah!? you say - that was the residence of the chancellor Gordon - where did he live then?

Easy. At night after cooking the books - Gordon would disguise himself as Brian Haw (who was secretly sent off to Gitmo in early 2001) and suitably radical in appearance would bed down for the night in a 2yard by half a meter tent.

Now the truth is out.

Of course many of us don't want Gordon Brown to be PM just so easily. Let's petition Queen Helen Mirren of Engurland, Scoatland, Cymru and Wee Ulster for an election and let the people have their say. The great British people who led by their beloved Shipley Shetty, Bob Geldof and Dafyd of the village have in the last decade become the most sophisticated consumers of trans-fat shite in the world. WE know - we record their every movement and morsel or grub they chew.

Great work done Tony!
Sure it could have been worse.

How could it have been worse?

enough of asking how could have it been better! you spoilt brats of the Empire -you ingrate children of the Blair generation........................................................... I remember Thatcher & Haughey.


How could it have been worse?

by j. Thu May 10, 2007 13:57

he is 54- did you see what he said to Paisley who is 80!

he is bowing out and Paisley is coming in.

Blair might go for a Hello presidency to match the common little Hello!
monarchy.
or the UN.
or the papacy.
Or as peace ambassador to Africa after the huns raped it for thousands of years.

He has a lot coming to him, but his new knights in garters (bono, anthony, bob)

will soften the burden

1. He will catholicise.
2. He will let everyone know he is a man of god.
Its ok to murder, rape and pillage- we all know that, you get absolved at this level.