Out of Sight

national | consumer issues | news report Sunday February 20, 2005 16:53 by Sean Crudden sean.crudden at iol dot ie Jenkinstown, Dundalk, Co Louth. 042 93 71310

Is Big John Daly Redundant?

Is there another way of hitting the golfball out of sight without the skill and power of John Daly? Is it a sin to take pleasure in golf? The Golfing Union of Ireland seems determined in a jansenistic way to curb the single most sought after requirement and desire of everyone who ever made even the most rudimentary attempt to play golf.

Practice makes perfect!

There is a big page on the GUI (Golfing Union of Ireland) web-site which is so long it takes nearly an half a minute to download on my modern Dell computer. The page is merely a list of all the makes and types of driver (the most powerful club in the golfer’s bag) which the GUI will be banning from competitive use from the end of this year and which they will be banishing completely from the fairways of Ireland from 2008 on.

The reason for this is that the clubs named have "balloon" heads with an extra-thin face which propels the ball further due to what might be termed a trampoline effect. Of course we expect rectitude and piety from the GUI and we are here getting it in spades. The logic of their ban is to reduce unfortunate golfers like me to the use of implements which in today’s world could be likened to a garden spade. It was once said of the great Christy O’Connor that he could play golf with a garden spade - but there is no-one alive in Ireland today who can match his skill as a ball-striker and certainly the average golfer today is unlikely to do any serious damage no matter how sophisticated a club she uses. As clever as they are in America or Japan (or in the GUI) there is no prospect of ever creating a totally automatic driver.

I really think that what is behind this ban is parsimony. The GUI wants to spare its (well heeled) members the expense of buying new clubs and are courting popularity with reactionary and Luddite golfers all around this country who want to bury their heads in the sand and ignore progress internationally in one of the key areas of the game of golf.

Personally I was never classified as a bad driver of the ball but I got a gift of a used Wilson Deep Red driver a few months ago from my son Sean Óg and it has transformed my enjoyment of the game increasing it by 50%.

Everyone accepted what Moses plucked from the burning bush (we are told) but I candidly believe that what is to be read on the GUI webpage about drivers is a load of cobblers.