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The Myths of Palestine and Palestinians
national |
miscellaneous |
news report
Tuesday May 07, 2002 16:26 by Dennis Miller - Satirist
The Palestinians want their own country. There's just one thing about that: There are no Palestinians. It's a made up word. Israel was called Palestine for two thousand years. Like "Wiccan," "Palestinian" sounds ancient but is really a modern invention. Before the Israelis won the land in war, Gaza was owned by Egypt, and there were no "Palestinians" then, and the West Bank was owned by Jordan, and there were no "Palestinians" then. As soon as the Jews took over and started growing oranges as big as basketballs, what do you know, say hello to the "Palestinians," weeping for their deep bond with their lost "land" and "nation." So for the sake of honesty, let's not use the word "Palestinian" any more to describe these delightful folks, who dance for joy at our deaths until someone points out they're being taped. Instead, let's call them what they are: "Other Arabs Accomplish Anything In Life And Would Rather Wrap Themselves In The Seductive Melodrama Of Eternal Struggle And Death." I know that's a bit unwieldy to expect to see on CNN. How about this, then: "Adjacent Jew-Haters." Okay, so the Adjacent Jew-Haters want their own country. Oops, just one more thing. No, they don't. They could've had their own country any time in the last thirty years, especially two years ago at Camp David. But if you have your own country, you have to have traffic lights and garbage trucks and Chambers of Commerce, and, worse, you actually have to figure out some way to make a living. That's no fun. No, they want what all the other Jew-Haters in the region want: Israel. They also want a big pile of dead Jews, of course-that's where the real fun is-but mostly they want Israel. Why? For one thing, trying to destroy Israel-or "The Zionist Entity" as their textbooks call it-for the last fifty years has allowed the rulers of Arab countries to divert the attention of their own people away from the fact that they're the blue-ribbon most illiterate, poorest, and tribally backward on G-d's Earth, and if you've ever been around G-d's Earth, you know that's really saying something. It makes me roll my eyes every time one of our pundits waxes poetic about the great history and culture of the Muslim Mideast. Unless I'm missing something, the Arabs haven't given anything to the world since Algebra, and, by the way, thanks a hell of a lot for that one. Chew this around and spit it out: Five hundred million Arabs; five million Jews. Think of all the Arab countries as a football field, and Israel as a pack of matches sitting in the middle of it. And now these same folks swear that if Israel gives them half of that pack of matches, everyone will be pals. Really? Wow, what neat news. Hey, but what about the string of wars to obliterate the tiny country and the constant din of rabid blood oaths to drive every Jew into the sea? Oh, that? We were just kidding. My friend Kevin Rooney made a gorgeous point the other day: Just reverse the numbers. Imagine five hundred million Jews and five million Arabs. I was stunned at the simple brilliance of it. Can anyone picture the Jews strapping belts of razor blades and dynamite to themselves? Of course not. Or marshalling every fiber and force at their disposal for generations to drive a tiny Arab state into the sea? Nonsense. Or dancing for joy at the murder of innocents? Impossible. Or spreading and believing horrible lies about the Arabs baking their bread with the blood of children? Disgusting. No, as you know, left to themselves in a world of peace, the worst Jews would ever do to people is debate them to death. Mr. Bush, G-d bless him, is walking a tightrope. I understand that with vital operations coming up against Iraq and others, it's in our interest, as Americans, to try to stabilize our Arab allies as much as possible, and, after all, that can't be much harder than stabilizing a roomful of supermodels who've just had their drugs taken away. However, in any big-picture strategy, there's always a danger of losing moral weight. We've already lost some. After September 11 our president told us and the world he was going to root out all terrorists and the countries that supported them. Beautiful. Then the Israelis, after months and months of having the equivalent of an Oklahoma City every week (and then every day) start to do the same thing we did, and we tell them to show restraint. If America were being attacked with an Oklahoma City every day, we would all very shortly be screaming for the administration to just be done with it and kill everything south of the Mediterranean and east of the Jordan. (Hey, wait a minute, that's actually not such a bad id . . . uh, that is, what a horrible thought, yeah, horrible.)"
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Jump To Comment: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16that is actually not worthy of comment. that article is the most factually inaccurate thing I have ever read and is so incredibly wrong and offensive that it is just stupid.
These comments are fully true, and teatowel heads hate to be reminded of them. Lets take the war on terror to the real culprits, the suicide bombers, and the leaders and 'societies' who support them.
Let no one forget it was a palestine terror group who first claimed responsibility for the world trade center bombings
I tend to agree with the original post. America has suffered from one terrorist attack in the last 10 years. Israel suffers from daily attacks. At the height of the IRA campaign, the rest of the europe would consider the situation in northern ireland not as a small group of terrorists but as a war.
Israel has so far only protected its people. They haven't taken forces into other countries yet. America has done so. Afghanistan is a prime example of this.
BTW if you mention the oklahoma bombings, this was not a terrorist attack, but domestic violence, as stated by the FBI. The world trade attack is considered by most americans as a declaration of war by terrorists on america. Has israel done any different than armerica, except that they haven't received the support that armerica has received by the rest of europe.
>Lets take the war on terror to the real culprits, the suicide bombers, and the leaders and 'societies' who support them.
Yes, we should take the war on terror to those who supported terrorists. Like the USA who trained and armed Bin Laden and his boys. And Israel who invented terrorism with the Stern Gangs who killed 50 when they blew up the King David hotel and in recent years, supported Hamas to cause a civil war amongst the Palestinians. Let us fight against these evil societies and destroy them once and for all.
>Has israel done any different than armerica, except that they haven't received the support that armerica has received by the rest of europe.
Brutal military occupation illegal in the eyes on the whole world (including the USA) springs to mind. But let's forget all that in the interests on propaganda.
so transgressions of the past are raised again? Im sorry but suicide bombing on a daily basis is not the same as government policy that backfires. Lets deal with current issues, not keep referring back to historical events, that have been interpreted to death. Its only by looking forward that solutions can be reached.
Israel remains the only civilised country in the middle east, which is a shame as the arab races were some of the oldest and most noble on earth.
I hope one day they can regain that status.
'The world trade attack is considered by most americans as a declaration of war by terrorists on america'
That attack has also been seen as an episode in a war (in which america are involved) that has been happening for a long time. America 'foreign policy' stretches further than many realise and they were probably seen as a legitimate target. Not many condone any terrorist attacks on civillians but the ferocity of the attacks especially suicide bombers may be an indication of people level of desperation. These people are not 'mad' 'insane', they have been pushed. Dont think you can resolve this issue without duality.
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Oklahoma was internal terrorism according to the FBI sources I read. You have to stop thinking of america as one country with one people.
Israel remains the only civilised country in the middle east, which is a shame as the arab races were some of the oldest and most noble on earth.
I hope one day they can regain that status.
Not likely with the USA and Israel the only countries in the Middle East calling the shots.
that because the bombers invalidate any legitamate viewpoints or political outlooks.
Why should anyone beleive or trust arafat, when he was trapped along with six known terrorists in his compound. If he beleives in peace why were there terrorists with him??
Virtually every 'government' in the middles east is a dictatorship, so is it any wonder that israel and americas voices are the only ones heard.
It would be nice though, if america, stayed out of international politics every now and again ;)
Brutal military occupation illegal in the eyes on the whole world (including the USA) springs to mind. But let's forget all that in the interests on propaganda...
ahh but Israel is in the wrong. Not the suicide bombers, or even america who have used their whole military might to attack afghanistan?
how come we haven't heard of people protesting in the streets of ireland abt the treatment of afghan prisoners by america, or the use of fuel bombs by american forces?
Seems to be that its fashionable at the moment to attack israel for what they're doing. Everyone else is doing it, so why can't we? Seems a bit off target, since i've never seen any protests against the arab embassies for their terrorist strikes against israel... strange.,.
The above posting is not just spamming, it's very very bad Zionist propaganda,peddling the "myth" of a land without people for a people without a land. Of course it's sheer fantasy, .75 people were expelled in 1948 with extreme brutality. The modern term for such crimes is ethnic cleansing, this crime was achieved with mass murder (Deir Yassin amongst others), looting and rape. The expulsion of Palestinians from their land has continued to the present day.
With regard to the contributor who described Israel as the only civilised country in the region, well I suppose that it all depends on how you define "civilisation", if you consider as civilised a state who carried war crimes as Deir Yassin, Quna, Sabra-Shatila to name but a few.
If that's been civilised, I would hate to witness his/her idea of uncivilised behaviour.
I really don't think that using children as human shields in Jenin could be described as civilised.
On the contrary, under the appropriate leigislation, it is considered a war crime.
And when did suicide bombing become acceptable???
Stop looking back on history and using it for excuses, I bet that you do not hold germans in disregard any more, that was only 60 years ago? What about the british, happy to support their football teams, buy their products, and speak their language, that was only 80 years ago.
Look to the future, to fix these problems, looking back on history and using it to excuse the inhaman actions of animals is not just wrong it also makes you party to the causes.
Think on this. That whole area, was originally under british control. When the british left, they gave alot of area to the arabs, in the surrounding area, and left the people of israel in the middle. Although it wasn't until british forces left, that the modern nation or israel was born. But if we're going to talk about ancient rights of kingdoms, and peoples, then you're suggesting world war. Since germany will need to be given back large tracts of land, taken after WW2, China will need to give bck land to numerous smaller nations, and america will need to give all the land to the american indians, and move bck to the countries they origanlly came from. Its a bit extreme, but what you're suggesting is just as bad.
Next you'll be saying that we should have northern ireland back, despite the wishes of the loyalists... hmmm..
Why dont the anti Israelis admit that whatever Israel does will not be good enough for them--unless it is suicide ?. Israel has tried everything it could for the last 50 years to have a meaningful peace with the Arabs and nothing has been good enough .
Two year ago at this time there was no occupation of "West Bank " areas except for the Jewish inhabited communities --but Arafat couldnot bring himself to prepare his people for a real peace . So what has happenned in those 2 years ? The Arabs have now perfected the ultimate obscenity of child sacrifice i.e bringing up children to be suicide bombers . this has shades of Molech worship which the ancient Canaanites practiced and which the ancient Israelites were ordered by God to wipe our from the Land .
Maybe History repeats it self in more ways than
we could imagine . In the meantime all the anti Israeli Westerners looking for a cause should try NEPAL --600 massacred or the Philipines of India --all countries like Nigeria , and Sudan
which have problems and the common denominator is MUSLIMS nad the Islamic attempt ot dominate and not tolerate .
A typical Zionist racist remark. The Palestinian people are not animals, they are an oppressed people who were driven from their own country by the Zionist racists, in other words they were ethnically cleansed. A crime for which Milosevic is standing trial in the Hague. When will Sharon join him ?
Historical facts are just that, facts, reality, not excuses. The Zionist crimes of ethnic cleansing and land grabbing have continued to the present day.
My remarks in support of the just cause of the Palestinian people, could not possibly be taken as support for certain Arab regimes. Suicide bombings are the last resort of a people driven to despair. Nobody sent them F-16's or Apaches.
no they just gave them semtex...