TOTALITARIANISM FOR DUMMIES

national | miscellaneous | news report Tuesday February 25, 2003 15:35 by Not a publisher

In a brave move by the literary publishers the book 1984 has been re-branded and re-marketed as "totalitarianism for dummies"

TOTALITARIANISM FOR DUMMIES

Now in a bright yellow cover with a photograph of George Bush emblazoned across it with the slogan "I did it and I can't even pass high school exams" the book explains in easy terms and step by step guides how to control your population with a state of "Permanent War", how to set up your own "Ministry of Truth" and how to control the minds of your minions with Doublethink.

The thought police and ministry of truth have been merged into one by the president as the homeland security department and plans are underway to install a two way screen into the homes of millions of gullible Americans for their own safety.

Terrorism is now the ever changing enemy shifting seamlessly from Osama Bin-Laden to the equally evil and tyrannical despot Sadam Hussein. In a rather clever move Bush has even managed to convince the UN security Council to disarm a nation before invading, therefore allowing Bush to take over the oil fields with little or no resistance from the unarmed, hungry, Iraq population.

"Stripping gullible American citizens of their human rights was so easy with the guidance of this wonderful book" George bush has been thought to say "After I created a climate of fear, the oppression of my own citizens was a synch"

"With the instructions in this book I can alter history to suit my needs, bareley anyone can remember the time we supplied Sadam with weapons to kill the pesky Russians now that we are at war with him, and as for the Afghan to Indian ocean oil pipeline? well now we have got rid of the Taliban we can go ahead with installing this and forget the war on terrorism spin"

"Even my past felonies and drink driving convictions have faded into the same memory hole as my financial dealings with oppressive regimes" may have been quoted by George "I can't get enough of this book. In February we announced a plan to create an Office of Strategic Influence to provide false news and information abroad to help manipulate public opinion and further our military objectives. We then got the same department charged with spreading disinformation to test itself by telling the stupid public it itself does not exist and they fell for it like lemmings of a cliff"

George Bush has also believed to have planned to turn September the 11th into an annual holiday called "hate week" in which he can use the tragedy of thousands of Civilian deaths to his advantage by whipping up blind patriotic support for his "War to get oil."

Perhaps if his defence budget was spent on environmental programs and research into sustainable energy supplies his all consuming obese country would no longer rely on foreign oil reserves. However as none of his close friends work in the sustainable energy department he feels it only proper to fund his buddies in the defence industry instead.

"We are also getting rid of the improbable cause thingy in our constitution with the new USA Patriot Act, its amazing what you can get away with when the majority of your population are poor, we like to call them the proles" He may have said.

"And we are creating our own version of big brothers outer party by empowering our citizens to spy on themselves thus negating the need to spend more on law and order, we find fear of each other a much better motivator, you never know whose watching and it worked for the Nazi's so why shouldn?t it work for us."

"Because we are a nation at war ? as we have to constantly reminded the population ? most Americans say they are willing to sacrifice many of their freedoms in return for the promise of greater security." All we ask of them is to their blind faith in our stolen government and do so with patriotic fervour." We wish to stamp out the freedom of dissent that is the hallmark of a democratic society, and hopefully never turn back."

The last words believed to be heard muttered form the American president as he ordered more propaganda were.

"WAR IS PEACE

FREEDOM IS SLAVERY

IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH"

We would do well to listen to them....