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A good article on my Marxism/Communism/Socialism is a load of rubbish.

category national | miscellaneous | news report author Saturday November 16, 2002 01:33author by Billow Report this post to the editors

Especially for all those thinking of attending that Marxist 'Conference' TCD.

In Ireland, Marxism is for a) posh gits with nothing better to be doing with their time or b) "D4" types who can afford to embrace socialism, because they know that when the economy goes belly-up, they'll still be able to get a job in Daddy's accountancy firm in Foxrock. So if 70 years of Russian history doesn't persuade all you D4 IndyMedia type tossers, then this article will.

From www.theonion.com:

Marxists' Apartment A Microcosm Of Why Marxism Doesn't Work

AMHERST, MA—The filthy, disorganized apartment shared by three members of the Amherst College Marxist Society is a microcosm of why the social and economic utopia described in the writings of Karl Marx will never come to fruition, sources reported Monday.

"The history of society is the inexorable history of class struggle," said sixth-year undergraduate Kirk Dorff, 23, resting his feet on a coffee table cluttered with unpaid bills, crusted cereal bowls, and bongwater-stained socialist pamphlets. "The stage is set for the final struggle between the bourgeoisie and the proletariat, the true productive class. We're well aware of that here at 514 W. Elm Street, unlike other apartments on this supposedly intellectual campus."

Upon moving in together at the beginning of the fall 2001 semester, Dorff, Josh Foyle, and Tom Eaves sat down and devised an egalitarian system for harmonious living. Each individual roommate would be assigned a task, which he would be required to carry out on a predetermined day of the week. A bulletin board in the kitchen was chosen as the spot for household announcements, and to track reimbursements for common goods like toothpaste and toilet paper.

"We were creating an exciting new model for living," said Dorff, stubbing his cigarette into an ashtray that had not been emptied in six days. "It was like we were dismantling the apparatus of the state right within our own living space."

Despite the roommates' optimism, the system began to break down soon after its establishment. To settle disputes, the roommates held weekly meetings of the "Committee of Three."

"I brought up that I thought it was total bullshit that I'm, like, the only one who ever cooks around here, yet I have to do the dishes, too," said Foyle, unaware of just how much the apartment underscores the infeasibility of scientific socialism as outlined in Das Kapital. "So we decided that if I cook, someone else has to do the dishes. We were going to rotate bathroom-cleaning duty, but then Kirk kept skipping his week, so we had to give him the duty of taking out the garbage instead. But now he has a class on Tuesday nights, so we switched that with the mopping."

After weeks of complaining that he was the only one who knew how to clean "halfway decent," Foyle began scaling back his efforts, mirroring the sort of production problems experienced in the USSR and other Soviet bloc nations.

At an Oct. 7 meeting of the Committee of Three, more duties and a point system were added. Two months later, however, the duty chart is all but forgotten and the shopping list is several pages long.

The roommates have also tried to implement a food-sharing system, with similarly poor results. The dream of equal distribution of shared goods quickly gave way to pilferage, misallocation, and hoarding.

"I bought the peanut butter the first four times, and this Organic Farms shit isn't cheap," Eaves said. "So ever since, I've been keeping it in my dresser drawer. If Kirk wants to make himself a sandwich, he can run to the corner store and buy some Jif."

Another failed experiment involves the cigarettes bought collectively. Disagreements constantly arose over who smoked more than his fair share of the group's supply of American Spirit Blues, and the roommates now hide individually purchased packs from each other—especially late at night when shortages are frequent.

The situation is familiar to Donald Browning, author of Das Kouch: A History Of College Marxism, 1970-1998.

"When workers willfully become less productive, the economy of the household suffers," Browning said. "But in a society where a range of ability naturally exists, someone is bound to object to picking up the slack for others and end up getting all pissy, like Josh does."

According to Browning, the group's lack of productivity pervades their lives, with roommates encouraging each other to skip class or work to sit on the couch smoking pot and talking politics.

"A spirit of free-market competition in the house would likely result in better incomes or better grades," Browning said. "Then, instead of being hated and ostracized by the world at large as socialist countries usually are, they could maintain effective diplomacy with their landlord, their parents, and Kirk's boss who cut back his hours at Shaman Drum Books."

The lack of funds and the resulting scarcity breeds not only discontent but also corruption. Although collectivism only works when all parties contribute to the fullest extent, Foyle hid the existence of a $245 paycheck from roommates so he would not have to pay his back rent, in essence refusing to participate in the forced voluntary taxation that is key to socialism. Even worse, Dorff, who is entrusted with bill collection and payment, recently pocketed $30, a theft he claimed was "for the heating bill" but was put toward buying drinks later that night.

"As is human nature, power tends to corrupt even the noblest of men," Browning said. "The more power the collective has over the lives of the individuals, as is the case in this household, the more he who is in charge of distribution has to gain by being unscrupulous. These Marxists will soon realize they overestimated how much control they would like 514 W. Elm as an entity to have."

author by Shane - SP/SYpublication date Sat Nov 16, 2002 11:20author address TALLAGHTauthor phone Report this post to the editors

I dont want to get into an argument over what is working class and what isnt. But I would consider myself a Marxist and am Working class.

The party to which I belong to, the SP, draws its support from the working class as do the CWI and its members, with the majority of its members being working class.

I admire dedicated middle class people who fight for socialism, but to say that we are all just "toffs" is absolute rubbish and a worthless generalisation.

author by chrispublication date Sat Nov 16, 2002 12:50author address author phone Report this post to the editors

text book level understanding of marxism and the regurgation of capitalist propaganda against marxists is hardly the highest level of news worthy items is it.

and im middle class and my dad aint a posh accountant, he's a consultant surgeon and a bloody good job he does to. so stick your anti-marxist crap up your arse, i deal with your arguments from patronising pro-capitalist twats all the time, we dont need to hear it from anti-capitalists to!

author by i psi phipublication date Sat Nov 16, 2002 15:52author address author phone Report this post to the editors

that we never leave a slur unanswered.
we never walk away from slagging.
we never just think "that´s crap leave it".

thus we argue with each other endlessly.
thus we split endlessly.

We in our broad churches of national variations of social movements be they
socialist
communist
republican
ecologist
pacifist
and most recently
anarchist
are always arguing with each other, responding to taunts and counting grudges and bearing yet new chips on our shoulders.
This strength and flaw in the national character has been exploited by others for centuries.
It is not the place to list the occassions where the Irish have nullified their resistance by infighting. But it is the place to say that such infighting has damaged all of us.
And those who seek to manipulate the Irish people and their national resources and facilitities now and in the future will use the same techniques to split us.

author by hs sppublication date Sat Nov 16, 2002 16:59author address author phone Report this post to the editors

And quite funny too.

author by Billowpublication date Sat Nov 16, 2002 18:13author address author phone Report this post to the editors

"and im middle class and my dad aint a posh accountant, he's a consultant surgeon and a bloody good job he does to. so stick your anti-marxist crap up your arse, i deal with your arguments from patronising pro-capitalist twats all the time, we dont need to hear it from anti-capitalists to!"

HA HA HA! This whole site is so full of ranting student knob-heads, it's hilarious. I'm PRO-capitalist by the way...

You simply can't deal with the fact that you know well that left-wing politics would destroy this country's economy (Low taxes promote investment, enterprise and jobs, etc, etc). Didn't 70 years of Russian history teach anything, you "twat"?

Anyway, I'll leave you to:
a) grow a bit older and realise that the Marxist/Communist/Socialist thing is a load of rubbish and
b) get a cushy job in Daddy's surgery by the time your 30.

author by Intransigentpublication date Sun Nov 17, 2002 01:35author address author phone Report this post to the editors

Billow I would like you to go back 70 years please as you yourself have advocated. NOW please explain to me the state of the Capitalist system in the 1930s. Pretty dismal. And throughout those 70 years we have seen the same situations arising time and again. Each time it happens more people are thrown into the pool of poverty and when a new "boom" comes along they are left there. The rich become richer and the poor poorer. It is clear to see this and any economist will tell you this fact. Disparity grows from the Capitalist system. In fact it is encouraged. When you want to go back to one of Capitalism's Gods Adam Smith, you will find that he instigates that there is some form of "Invisible Hand" guiding our markets. He tells us that by "working for oursleves and without the interests of society as a whole then society will also benefit." These theories are nonsense and have been proved incorrect by so many. To go back to my previous point, that of attacking your "70 years of history" bollocks, you only need to look at the Capitalist system to find it's own downfalls. Sure Russia did not become the best example of Marxism as Stalinism did not exactly follow in the way it should have. Anyway to finish up, Billow you are full of shit!

author by ollie moore - Katalyzerpublication date Mon Nov 18, 2002 04:34author address author phone Report this post to the editors

I know it's post modern for a conversation based on a spoof to get a life of its own an' all dat....but the onion layers have been peeled away lads....it's from the onion....

author by Billowpublication date Mon Nov 18, 2002 15:54author address author phone Report this post to the editors

Capitalism: some are rich, some are poor.
Marxism: all are poor.
Marxists: all are miserable, all of the time.

And that's pretty much it! Now, I'm of to spend my hard-earned capitalist Euros on some more CDs, travelling and some fine food. Happy days...

author by sp fulltimerspublication date Mon Nov 18, 2002 18:39author address author phone Report this post to the editors

you have us convinced Billiow. Any chance of a nice slap up meal in the Le Hard Cock or whatever the name of that posh restaraunt Charlie Haughy used to frequent

author by robbin the richpublication date Mon Nov 18, 2002 19:07author address author phone Report this post to the editors

ROB THE RICH,
Capitalism- the very few are rich, majority are poor
Socialism, anarchism- ALL ARE RICH.

author by Intransigentpublication date Tue Nov 19, 2002 01:34author address author phone Report this post to the editors

When ya say some are rich and some are poor you have to detail that a little more. Let me do that for ya. Those who are rich have so much money that they don't know what to do with it. They have so much surplus wealth that it is going to waste in their bank accounts. Now think for a second, if there is so much wealth why would everybody be poor? The wealth exists, as do the means, to provide more than enough for everybody! Now you stupid fucker: Piss off!!!

author by Billowpublication date Tue Nov 19, 2002 11:15author address author phone Report this post to the editors

This is one of the funniest thing I've ever read on the internet. Get a few Miserable Marxists foaming at the mouth is so easy. And I haven't even started into arguing against Marxism. Here's another question: How many Marxist countries have been ecomonically successful? None? How many non-marxist countries have been economically successful? Marxism is an idealogy for bored & posh D4 student types, who think it's trendy to put a Che Guevera poster on their will and with nothing better to be doing with their time. Deal with it! Get over it!

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